I think I agree with pretty much everything you've said here.

In a way, I think what it boils down to is that we tend to arbitrarily demonize or valorize selfishess, depending on who we want to support.

But ultimately, selfishness is just the desire to feel good, and the desire to increase your likelihood of feeling good in the future - which is really just the most human thing - something we should all be able to feel empathy for.

The one big thing that I think you didn't touch on here is that religion can cause people to do things that, unlike normal selfishness, are truly bad for everyone involved - things that don't make life better for anyone. One example of this is the Christian right's insistence on banning abortion. It's not good for Christians, and it's not good for anyone else.

And that dynamic plays out in Gaza as well, for instance, with Zionism, and with Hamas' stated purpose of eradicating all Jews - a mission that truly nobody should feel empathy for.

I've touched on this more in this article: https://medium.com/@nebulasaurus/why-cant-israelis-just-pay-for-gaza-c7cb8796c7da